1. |
Secret Handshake
03:04
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SECRET HANDSHAKE
Jumping up and down on public transportation
Moses in a dress is addressing the nation
I got plans for the man
I got the fire inside
Walking down Wall Street, raining businessmen
Hand some money to a cop cuz policemen are your friends
Searching for the Buddha underneath the apple tree
Who knows the words of wisdom and speaks them unto me
Maybe you think it's funny
I'm one of those crash test dummies
Let me tell you I got business going on
Gimme ten grand or two tens
Spend it all on my friends
Babe my secret handshake is my song
Sitting in the park it's a perfect sunny day
Even stupid pigeons sort of look ok
Old lady in a car makes a big mistake
Steps on the gas thinking it's the brake
Happened very fast right before my very eyes
But it didn't make any sense till I watched the news at five
Somewhere in Montana there's someone who understands
Although we've never met, right now we're shaking hands
Downtown in a gallery there was free food and wine
Big thoughts hung from the walls, some of them were mine
An usher said no pointing but he did not have a gun
Everybody cheered when the cardinal killed his son
If anything is art that someone pays you for
Then I have met Picasso, mistook him for a whore
Hate the corporate world but I shop there when I must
This is the secret handshake that means you're one of us
Maybe you think it's funny
I'm one of those crash test dummies
Let me tell you I got business going on
If you've got ten grand or just two tens
and spend it all on your friends
Then you can't get this secret handshake wrong
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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2. |
A Texas Sunday
03:54
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A TEXAS SUNDAY
nothing going on but the weather's good
my bike's got a flat like I would take it
walking round your neighborhood
nothing looks too sacred
found a street fair by the closed-down theater
cheap sneakers but not my size
same stuff as usual
no beer but curly fries
This is so much fun; when will it end?
Doing nothing wrong; still don't fit in
This is so much fun; when will it end?
Trying to belong
Try to stay hidden
one thing I never saw before
can you tell by my expression?
missile launcher guarded by bored soldiers
who don't appreciate questions
Take a good look at a tank
You've got nothing smart to say
Little boys in tiny ties
I guess it was Sunday
This is so much fun; when will it end?
Doing nothing wrong; still don't fit in
This is so much fun; when will it end?
Trying to belong
Try to stay hidden
Two tables of bonsai trees
they, too, were unimpressive
look at what we can do to these
just seems so aggressive
Nobody sold nothing that
anybody'd need
I bought a book for fifty cents
I'm never gonna read
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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3. |
Peacenick
03:53
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PEACENIK
I saw you with a red balloon
in the middle of a crowd
of facist-hating facists
no smiling was allowed
Anarchy never looked so regal
I'd love you but it's illegal
Sound and lights and energy
plus sound advice thrown in for free
Peacenik's gonna change the world
One person at a time
Peacenik's gonna change the world
one person at a time
Peacenik's gonna change the world woah-oh
Peacenik's gonna change the world
if he doesn't change his mind
Peacenik's gonna change the world woah-oh
Preaching to the perverted
Bow before almighty noise
A picnic on the astro-turf
What's not to enjoy?
Dancing in a minefield, girl
I got my shovelful
Will not love our neighbors, no
until they're lovable
This is not an attitude
It's my personality
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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4. |
Mary Matalin
04:13
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MARY MATALIN
Mary's got some juicy facts
She's going to relate them
Boss can't get away with that
and so he delegates 'em
Mary looks into the lens
and says what she's supposed to
Despite the evil she intends
she's someone I feel close to
Despite all her calculations
we could dance to a rock and roll station
it would be all wrong
but it would feel all right
Here comes Mary
She looks just like your friend
Here comes Mary
Mary Matalin
Mary looks into my eyes
and says just what she has to
we both know she lies
she does it really bad, too
Despite all her calculations
we could dance to a rock and roll station
it would be all wrong
but it would feel all right
She loves her boss, her loyalty
has been amply demonstrated
Life is best when it's simple
and better when it's complicated
Despite all her calculations
we could dance to a rock and roll station
it would be all wrong
but it would feel all right
Here comes Mary
She looks just like your friend
Here comes Mary
Mary Matalin
Here comes Mary
She looks just like your friend
There goes Mary
There she goes again
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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5. |
Half Life
04:27
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HALF LIFE
There is no space
for what you need to know
on the forms that I must fill out
I'm happiest alone
I'm miserable that way
All this stuff just wants to spill out
I take pleasure in the simple things
I love my headphones and my wedding ring
Are you talking to me now or reading from a script?
What's that supposed to mean you say you wanna be yourself?
I don't think you even know just who the hell that is
You spend half your life pretending you're like everybody else
Like everybody else
I tell the same joke
many different ways
But you never seem to get it
You're jerking off
to catalogs
Don't you feel a bit pathetic?
I take pleasure in the simple things
I love my headphones and my wedding ring
You spend half your life remembering your life when you were young
And half your life dreaming how much better life could get
Well everytime you make a choice hey half your life is gone
All you got's a few big dreams divided into many small regrets
Like everybody else
Never take any pictures
Just try to remember
All I remember is trying
Here's a story I like
I think it happened to me
I don't even know if I'm lying
Are you talking to me now or reading from a script?
What's that supposed to mean you say you wanna be yourself?
I don't think you even know just who the hell that is
No, I don't think you have a clue just who the hell that is
You spend half your life pretending you're like everybody else
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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6. |
Barney Garden
03:31
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BARNEY GARDEN
Can't afford this city or to move to somewhere else
Looking deeply in your eyes I don't see any help
Haven't left home but I'm already lost
Burning bridges that I haven't even crossed
Hate mistakes that others make
can't catch mine till it's too late
Let the conspiracy theories be true
Just let me say, babe I love you
Hey what's that red stuff on my fender?
Just drop the gun, man, I surrender
So long as someone knows what's going on
Just give me something I can count on
Like my buddy said when they let him walk
"Prison is free and I like to suck cock"
I belong inside cuz my mind's messed up
I respect anybody who has fessed up
More perspective possible
This spy's life is awful dull
Just like my skull
Hey what's that red stuff on my fender?
Just drop the gun, man, I surrender
So long as someone knows what's going on
Just give me something I can count on
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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7. |
Drunk and in Love
04:22
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DRUNK AND IN LOVE
She's visiting a cousin or someone
I'm with the only friend I could find
She's just as close as that pay phone
I'll call collect she won't mind
I'll make fun of her ex-boyfriend
I'll ask her what she wants to name our kids
She'll tell me she can't live without me
I'll call her Nancy till she calls me Sid
Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
the fact that nothing matters
when you're drunk and in love
Spent my last dollar on a silk purse in Chinatown
It's got this picture of a pumpkin
I don't even know if she'll like it (don't matter)
I just want to give her something
All the dead ducks in the windows
are croaking out my happy song
All the junkies wiping windshields
they can't help but sing along
Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
the fact that nothing matters
when you're drunk and in love
She's asleep in some other time zone
I'm with a friend who wonders where I've been
I want to tell her why she's so amazing
She's not here so I'll just tell him
I'll tell her how much I miss her
I'll ask her if she's wearing any clothes
I'll ask her what she'd do if I died tomorrow
I'll make her tell me something no one knows
I'll tell her all about the silk purse
that was gonna be a surprise
I'll tell her what I want for Christmas
I'll sing a song about her eyes
Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
the fact that nothing matters
when you're drunk and in love
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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8. |
Frustrated
02:29
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FRUSTRATED
I'm so
I'm so
I'm so
Frustrated
yeah, yeah frustrated
yeah, yeah
Your friends
Your friends
Your friends are so
Overrated
yeah, yeah frustrated
yeah, yeah
Here I am on my knees
stop and start no release
this lab rat wants his cheese
This is the sound
of one man snapping
everything has been
Confiscated
yeah, yeah, frustrated
yeah yeah
Here I am on my knees
stop and start no release
this lab rat is not pleased
I'm so
I'm so
sit down we need to talk's
when I get up to go
every time I ask what's wrong
you say I don't know
makes me frustrated
yeah, yeah frustrated
yeah, yeah
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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9. |
Hello Love Tractor
04:09
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HELLO LOVE TRACTOR
Hello Love Tractor I wrote on the wall
between a bunch of bands with better names
Hate anyone who can play guitar
Wish this club would go up in flames
Best argument for never drinking again
pee in a bar when you're sober
Frightening scrawls scream from every wall
Frat boys, poets and soldiers
Something's curious
Someone's furious
Watch your step
The nasty feeling lingers
Too true to be beautiful
Like newsprint on your fingers
Too true to be beautiful
I've been to every state but one
It's a great big old country
Nobody's got anything in common
Everybody wants to punch me
I still think America's great
I still love my country
Nobody's got anything in common
Everyone can talk about tv
Staying out too late
Avoid the interstate
Stay awake
That nasty feeling won't go
Too true to be beautiful
Still tastes the same tomorrow
Too true to be beautiful
Serious as your first hangover
It's as real as your last nightmare
Well hello all six of you
Hello hello anyone out there
Hope this finds you well
Hope this just finds you
What the hell
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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10. |
How to be Happy
03:40
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HOW TO BE HAPPY
I've got the tiniest bedroom
it's gigantic without you
La la la la la la la la
is yours too big too?
in your dreams everything's important
till you wake up the next day
can't remember what the big deal was
try to live my whole life that way
I've learned how to stay
Now I'm learning not to care
Asleep half the day
I'm learning not to care
Never leave this bed of mine
no other bed can compare
learning how to be happy
and learning not to care
La la la la la la la la
hung a big map on the wall
and I've stuck on these gold stars
everywhere I've been before
Got a star in Paris, France
got a star in Hollywood
you get to name your own star
if your telescope is good
I've learned how to stay
Now I'm learning not to care
Asleep half the day
I'm learning not to care
other folks as far away
as the stars at which I stare
learning how to be happy
and learning not to care
La la la la la la la la
la la la la la la
Now my life is like a montage sequence
Only feel one way always
I've got the tiniest bedroom
it's gigantic without you
Do they have bedrooms where you are?
la la la la, la la
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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11. |
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THE KIDS DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well they flash
those half-knowing smiles
as they pass
heroic profiles
Like they're in some book by Ayn Rand
Always working, always tanned
So satisfied but the kids don't understand
You kiss her
he doesn't even love you!
it's a blur
she's getting on top of you
Sometimes you see stuff nobody planned
Stick your head back in the sand
oh, don't worry cause the kids don't understand
Stuck your hands in the wet cement
in the soft spot of my skull
Well it stings
lick your wounds if I could
no such thing
as a normal childhood
Let's give all those concerned a big hand
Maybe they deserve it, but the kids don't understand
Stuck your hands in the wet cement
in the soft spot of my skull
We're not dumb
even if you spell it
we catch on
don't have to yell it
I see her flinch, when you raise your hand
There's not too much that the kids don't understand
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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12. |
I Believe in Something
04:29
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I BELIEVE IN SOMETHING
Swimming neath the continents
Swirling through the sky
is everything I don't know yet
And still won't when I die
For I am just a little thing
Astounded by everything
The wet grass beneath my feet
The tall towers of concrete
If I was God no one would doubt it
We wouldn't need church to get
The mystery that we once knew
The something we forget
I believe I'm a totally modern boy
but turn out the light and I believe in something
Don't wanna be some evil giant's toy
when it's late at night I believe in something
My friend had his death foretold
When he was twenty-six years old
I say the right things they're no help
His body slowly eats itself
If I was God no one would doubt it
No one would suspect
There was nothing I could do
With my greater intellect
I believe in these tiny little pills -- I believe in something
Mystic words on the backs of dollar bills -- I believe in something
I'm swimming neath the continents
I'm swirling through the air
Can't see the bones beneath my skin
But I know that they're there
I believe that my little heart's diseased -- I believe in something
Like to think there are people just like me -- I believe in something
I believe what they taught me in grade school
History is made by handsome dudes
I believe everything on television
Twelve step programs are the new religion
Gideon bibles make good rolling papers
The just prevail sooner or later
I believe I will live forever
I believe it all
I swear to whatever
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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13. |
I'm Your Wallet
02:42
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I'M YOUR WALLET
I'm your wallet
once upon a time I was your pal
Yeah, I'm your wallet
That's ok because you're my gal
Buried inside of me
is a picture of the way we used to be
Keep me in your pocket
Melt me like a piece of chocolate
I'm your wallet
a joke you made
I'm your wallet
Believe me baby it's a fair trade
I climbed the ladder
till I made it to the last rung
Waiting at the top
was the bottom of the next one
Buried inside of me
is a picture of the way we used to be
In the back out of view
is some change I kept from you
I'm your wallet
a joke you made
I'm your wallet
Believe me baby it's a fair trade
I'm your wallet
a joke you made
I'm your wallet
Believe me baby it's a fair trade
Buried inside of me
Is a picture of the way we used to be
You're looking kind of bored
I guess I never noticed that before
I'm your wallet
a joke you made
I'm your wallet
Believe me baby it's a fair trade
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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14. |
Get Me Out of Here
04:18
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GET ME OUT OF HERE
A flood-lit Virgin Mary
stares down at a mile-wide pit
Half this city fell inside
when they tunneled under it
And everybody here
lives life upside down
Because everybody's dreaming
about what's underground
Right now I might be seeing double
That just makes it twice as clear
I would jump that mile-wide pit
If it would get me out of here
They had all-night restaurants
a hundred years ago
They started digging for silver
When they'd dug up all the gold
In the hometown of Evel
I ordered humorous drinks
Got a lot of great stories
So what if my life stinks
Right now I might be seeing double
That just makes it twice as clear
I would jump that mile-wide pit
If it would get me out of here
He realized long ago
What just occurred to me
If you can't live well
Then die fantastically
I'll douse myself in gasoline
Roll myself to city hall
If I live or if I die
All the people will applaud
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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15. |
No Reason
04:00
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NO REASON
Talking to myself while I'm walking down the street
I guess that's ok I fit right in
City living, man you know it can't be beat
Couple years ago I would've been frightened
Saw you down the block and I felt just like a spy
Should've said hello but I couldn't resist
Watching you watch yourself in every window you went by
I, too, am guilty of this
No reason for these thoughts
No reason for these deeds
No reason's all the reason anybody needs
Lost in the teeming masses
But you got cool sunglasses
No reason's all the reason anybody needs
Cabbie knows the city his mind is like a map
He will drive you anyplace you say
Would he know the way if I said take me to you fast?
Why should he do this anyway?
No reason for these thoughts
No reason for these deeds
No reason's all the reason anybody needs
Don't know my neighbor's names
Everybody looks the same
No reason's all the reason anybody needs
This suitcase has a little bomb inside it
Don't worry, there's no need to get excited
Now I can't stand people who cop an attitude
And I just plain can't stand cops
And I can't just stand around like all these other dudes
Those horns honk on and on it never stops
No reason for these thoughts
No reason for these deeds
No reason's all the reason anybody needs
Lost in the teeming masses
But you got cool sunglasses
No reason's all the reason anybody needs
This suitcase has a little bomb inside it
Don't worry, there's no reason to ignite it
This suitcase has a little bomb inside it
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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16. |
Even The Queen
03:00
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EVEN THE QUEEN
I fell asleep to the sound of motorboats
dragging the lake, sheriff clears his throat
sounds carry very far at night
Looked so long for some common bond
There it is at the bottom of the pond
The mayor's daughter won't come back this time
Even the Queen
Even the Queen
Even the Queen has been here
Tried to shake his hand but he only had one arm
Here's my sorry smile, there goes all my charm
What was my face like before?
He said never mind, it's a stupid story
Mine eyes have seen the glory
Seen the glory but now they're bored
Even the Queen etc.
once in a while you think maybe
once in a while you drink baby
once in a while you find
once in a while you don't mind
It's a scary world, people are frightening
But I love the thunder, I love the lightning
My dog thinks I know what to do
Once in a while you get the feeling
Nothing's wrong, it's like you're stealing
A moment that wasn't meant for you
My heart is pure though I have tried to soil it
Even the king died upon the toilet
do not go gentle into that food fight
Born with a scream you die with a whimper
In between you must lose your temper
thank you very much good night
© & ℗ 1994 People Suck Music
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Too Much Joy Scarsdale, New York
TMJ is/was a punk-pop band of some minor renown. Some of that renown was due to their music, which included semi-hits such as “Crush Story,” “Donna Everywhere,” and “That’s a Lie” — a cover of the LL Cool J tune that featured the man himself in the music video, which actually got played quite a bit during daylight hours on MTV back when they did that sort of thing. ... more
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